Resilience of Emotions... !!!!!

Words aren't enough to elucidate what it feels to be in this spur of moment....

Life suddenly seems to have taken a halt and I find everything around to be QUIET.... which is not letting me feel comfortable about myself, about others and about everything else as well….

As if I am stuck in between of some stagnated feelings, they are abruptly not allowing me to look ahead from this juncture of life and move on to the next juncture, which is sort of unusual to me....

I don't know what is it but its definitely some weird sense of insight within me which leaves me with a forceful punch of sheer mixed feelings sinking me into a deep and profound range of emotions....

The matter of concern and worry to me is the unawareness of the reason and consequences behind these hurried elevation of emotions and feeling inside me…

In search for an answer I look back into my near past and I realized while growing up I never knew I was in that constant process of making every passing day of my life ‘a memory’ which is apparently impossible to forget and I’m glad to recall all of them now at least and wondering that why did never ever thought about those memories with such sincerity before as they actualize happiness to me in a way….

But when I look back to them the memories when some of the people who entered into my life to simply leave one fine day it hurts and I'm glad to have met some of the most amazing people as well who stayed back with me all along…

I miss my childhood like all others but some how don't want to go back cause I know I have strived hard enough to come along so far

And at this stage resilience of the past will mean destruction of present….

It's nothing like I am missing out on something or someone in my present that belonged to my past in fact I’m gratified to know that I have more than what I could have ever asked for….

But still there is a feeling of anxiousness and anxiety constantly lingering into head and I feel weird about unusual thought process coming across and I happen to find nothing at all to settle this unevenness in me…

There is a range of mixed feeling running into me…. No matter how much ever I try to avoid them ‘the feelings and the memories’ for all good and bad which has happened to me so far, they just randomly keep flowing through my anticipation….

At this moment all of it just feels to be neutral around me… everything is at par; whether it may be pleasant or unpleasant, nice or nasty, impulsive or repulsive, attractive or unappealing or for that matter all of this is what I strongly sense together inside me….

All of these emotions are piling on me one after the other or sometimes all together at the same time leaving me amazed over the intensity of the moment….

Yet I find this distinct phase of the brief time period in the timeline of my life certainly winsome and alluring as it still leaves behind a sense satisfaction and optimism as well for awaiting a better tomorrow, which beholds all the answers to a varied gamut of questions I have been looking for until today….

I just hope that it doesn’t gets to late too seek appropriate answers to all my queries which will indeed help me live my imaginations and attain my goals accordingly…

And moving towards the end of this blog all I can relate myself to is a random statement I read through this morning,

“It might seem like when you close one chapter of your life and start writing another, that you did before was a ‘waste’. But the truth is a sum of all the experiences and the whole is greater than certain parts in itself”

I hope my endurance through this phase, which has been an absolute eccentric phase to me, will certainly prove itself constructive, reasonable and progressive.