StandStiLL..

The world seems to have ended; yet I haven’t even started;

Too much to think about and sway and there’s equally much to give away!

These drifting emotions of having everything and nothing at the same time awkwardly reverberates the craziness inside me.

This feeling of awkwardness is burdensome enough...

Path which leads ahead is not smooth but rough...

To escape is not the solution I know...

Yet I haven't been left with any other option though!!!

And I wonder why is it that all of this is happening now!
It's been so regular to have  something or the other going on around in my world though today all of it seems to be at standstill...resulting into an unpleasantness.

It's strange but definitely the time to rearrange.
But somehow these words hold no meaning until they are proven to reality.

Ohhh wait for a second... Why am I even thinking so much!!
Somehow my inability for not being able to choose from all the wandering thoughts around me has simply crept into my inept desire.

Its really not the darkness that I fear from but letting the brightness go off and have no one beside....
And It just doesn't ends here; there is this weird noise buzzing around everywhere and at the same time I feel a sheer silence of emptiness inside. 
Don’t know what is this outburst about… is it just me or the world outside or maybe a mere blend of both?

Regardless to mention that a certain sense of impassiveness is there which is like never ending for me.
Its difficult to let it all relinquish as much as it is to persist to stay back... And as always being unstilted I would asked for more and more.

To choose from my own emotions is an intemperate activity to accomplish in itself. 

No matter how indulging this process is; today I want to miss that link of those thoughts and hold this moment for a while; stand by the outdoors, listen to the rhythmic rainfall outside, feel the breeze, watch the sun settle down and stay there until it rises.

Somehow this time during which the sun settles and rises up above again rejuvenates me... as always like a MAGICAL tune played on me.

To really know what this inquisitiveness is yet again a task but all that I could realise is that I can't fight a fact; I need to deal with it. I can't discard myself, I can just get started and be more of it. At the end compromising yourself is never worth it. You are all of it what you have got.

And this realization further evokes a thought in me which is such that; imperfection has it's own charm. To me perfection has rather been stagnant whereas imperfection simply allows me with enough space to grow and be better.

That is what makes me love the imperfection in me or in anything around me. Cause its the only way to seek a higher self.

True that It's only when everything around gets to be dark... You get a chance to shine like a star...!

Expect the unexpected...!!!

It wasn’t like the usual mornings today; at least not in ways I greet my mornings. I broke myself to some expected news unexpectedly. I was taken aback with it as it could change things for me in a lot of ways. All I needed was some peaceful time for myself…to sit and think; but well I forgot for a while that I live in Mumbai. Here for anything that happens to you doesn’t change anything around you.

So I had to get myself up and get ready, finish my daily errands, get going to my work followed by similar activities I do on everyday basis.

Well just like the morning, rest of my day wasn’t good to me either. So finally, in later part of the evening for a good change in my plan I accompanied my mother to some of her workplace. Since she was busy with a few discussions I decided to get back in my car and waited for her until she was done.

While I was fidgeting and playing around with different radio channels in the car, a few minutes later I noticed something odd and repetitive. Every other person walking by the street would join their hands, bow down and pray. Not just one but many people kept doing that and later walked on their respective ways. Its then I realized that my car was parked outside a temple, to which a window was kept open from inside.

It was interesting to observe that hundreds of people passing by the street while walking, driving in their cars, riding over a bike or so would hold on for a few seconds and pray to the God in that temple through that window and then again move ahead. As if everybody, even in their own rush and hurry to reach out to places and finish off things were still trying to spare a few seconds to bow down to the almighty in idea of hope and betterment. 

But there was one man who stood there outside, looking through that small window for more time than usual; he kept on humming something and was praying with extreme intensity and sorrow in his eyes. Weird was a fact that all this while he was standing outside the temple on roadside, wherein instead he could have gone inside and done so.

For once I thought I should ask him why was he standing outside all along but couldn’t disturb him in between his prayers. Rather something provoked me to get out of my own car. I glanced at the sight of the temple insides through the window… and witnessed a beautiful sight; it looked like a window of hopes.

Name it curiosity or what so ever I couldn’t resist myself but simply walked inside the temple and visited the main area. And all I could feel was the calm serenity of the beauty seen through that window from outside. One thought hindered around me was the fact, that if everybody who bowed in front of the window why wouldn’t they visit the temple from inside.

To me the man standing outside and everyone else who just glanced at the temple were unfortunate, enough to have missed the presence of belief in the almighty.

On my way back home, I ingeniously envisaged that in this huge rush of our lives, we are missing onto the essence of everything around us. All we do is just hope for something to happen and forget to believe in ourselves to enact our hopes into actions. Prayers without belief are simply words; they don’t help-out if not backed by actions. To them who accredit their hopes into actions do realize true meaning of faith in the almighty.

And as always I had the happy realization moment to myself and I knew what I had to do. Merely hoping that something or the other should have changed my morning to not make me upset wouldn’t do much; instead I could make the rest of the day work in my favor.

Difficult are not the decision made, but the force that which leads you to enact them… and a final note of the day to myself was that the more I believe in myself the more I will abide the most unexpected from the expected world around.