In the middle of a night🤔

People, places and almost everything looks to be scattered, so much so that I wake up in the middle of this night to write down this piece of blog article. 

And as I understand, this is for sure bothering me for real; no, not writing this article but this unusual habit I have now of suddenly waking up from my sleep and jumping into a pool of thoughts coming in from in-between of anywhere and everywhere.

Okay, this might sound like a retard activity but right now there is an abundance of confusion in and and around me. Enough to make me as bemused as I could have ever be. 

To be true its difficult to word it out or explain this awkwardness. At once, I want it all & fight for all of it by myself. Also, at all other times; just want to let life happen the way it should. 
Rather I want to SCREAM at the top of a hill, CRY my heart out, KICK-OUT some serious stuff, LAUGH like never before, RUN endlessly... runaway from everything around; thinking that then I will never have to think of things the way I do. But that certainly is just not true.

Oh! But then things at my end certainly refrain to happen the way it was planned or wished for, leaving me with all the confusions and adversities to be dealt around. 

And I realize writing it all this way doesn't help any further, yet i am writing it down :P anyway. Also am aware that doing it this way simply adds to the set of confusions I already have over several bits existing around. 

Being sort of an optimist makes me think, that there definitely is a sense of assertive possibility in every way stated in this existence, yet the possibility that is expected or understood shall never take place in reality (in my case for sure). There is yet another angle to the situation which is not that it was never anticipated. It is probably that things and situations are more often anticipated just the way it should not happen than what should happen. 

Its like the way its said, "if want something you simply ask for it and let it be." Though what is actually done in most of the scenarios is totally opposite. Certainly, when and how it will not get to you is thought about a lot more times than how one could get to it. Guess, this where the basis of  'law of attraction' phenomena exists. 

Its in-between the wants and needs where all the fuss of the situation remains to be now and since forever. Choosing what is needed over the wants is not as easy as thought about. And as a matter of fact not many options available for me to act upon the current situation to let me play the hero part and have a make-n-break or bring-revolution-over-evolution kinds stories. Instead all of it is just beyond my capacity for me to handle it for myself. Also maybe i am too bored and reluctant to act anyway. 

And that certainly brings happy realization moment for me that-  I no more want and need anything beyond the realm of my own capacity. 

Usually the times when I am broke, I choose not to write but doing it this time is helping me look at the neutral side of the story. Guess making it an exception today has helped. 

For once and for all, being hopeful is the last bit of the thing I want to do where am wishing things to just happen where no fight is needed- in real and in my head. Like the feeling you get when i am saying it out loud to myself that “let it be, just don’t let it go”.

Today, all i need to do is be on the same page of reality as it is. Let the dirth walk away and make some room for myself to be and let this pass out without having much to do about it. Cause when given a choice, choose what is needed to be done is feasible over what is wanted to be done. Otherwise its just all much ado about nothing.

P.S.- Dear reader- I know it was way too random, and even if you can't understand the head or tail of this article, try not judging me. A few times, to understand exact meaning of things around is not all that you can do.

And there she was...

All that was talked about, were her disagreements;

and there she was trying understand and cope with the situations.

Several "Dos N' Don'ts" were listed to draw those lines of limit,

and there she was heading towards liberation.

Everyone was talking about her elemental aspect...

and there she was trying to build herself.

Those certain set of expected capabilities were unending,

and there she was acing & experimenting every bit of adventure including the expected ones.

Could there be an attempt to hear her side of story,

but yeah there she was voicing her opinions in several expressions.

Worshiped in all possible ways and means for personal benefits,

and despite of knowing it all there she was blessing goodness for all.

I could go on and on with the amount of differences she deals with almost everyday.

Nor is this article meant to be feminist and nor does the other side of this world completely overtakes, but the majority of them intends to.

Guess being strong was misunderstood, so much so, to an extent that she went against herself and several alike her. This scenario couldn't have been more disgraceful.

Noting all of it here, so that may be someday this can only be looked back to mention all of it as a mere past and there are no carry forwards,cause SHE IS AND WILL ALWAYS- CREATE GRACE, MANAGE SITUATIONS, STAY LIBERATED, BETTER'S HERSELF, SHINES WITH EXCLUSIVITY, SPEAK IT OUT and lastly STAY BLESSED.

The metaphoric side....

Recently had to startle into a random trip to my hometown- which is also the best place on earth I know.
Its probably the only place where I have actually grew-up- not literally, but in terms of understanding things better - everything that is not me and myself.

Those several traces of delight-joy-happiness-sorrow-anger-confusion-disgust and the endless list of emotions could be felt in this one place altogether. So every-time on my visit here- I have those sudden realization moments filled with enlightenment. For me its one of those places where on the emotions graph chart several HIGHS and LOWS are noticed. All that is needed or can be done at best is experiencing them all in complete contentment of those emotions.

Oh well! before I get too sentimental and distracted about this magical land which I call mine by all means and methods- will share the sudden realization moment this time around on my trip here-- the art of using language.

There is a peculiarity utilized here in addressing everyone or expressing what you mean to say. One such peculiarity is that you say what you want to say but not directly (Like in hindi its said- ghuma fhira ke kehna). At first I use to be perplexed by the such a methodology but then understood the conversations here- though found them too tedious.

For example if we had to address the king of a province- we use phrases like (having added all the dramatic nuances in the address)- 'the prime royalty of this land' or 'the hereditary sovereign - our majesty'; Or may be something as close to expressing love- 'ohh my dear to heart'--' ..my life could start and end with your existence' and many more of such melodramatic dialogues.

Now whats so new about this- like we all know some or the other kind of language/s and the art of using it is a truly articulate way of communication. That may be true, but we miss out on a fact that in the urge of justifying this art we loose the essence of communication. It is commonly observed in several instances, nothing very new in it, yet very new to me.

With no offence to such an address to the King or such Expressions of Love, the cover up of words with addition of drama is a little too much here. Though why can't we just simply say exactly what we mean to say- like recognize a King as simply as 'KING' or express love by just saying 'Love' and clearly mean it.

What crept me is the fact that the idea of using words in the best way possible we miss out on saying what we actually want to communicate. Allying with the thought,  just when I was talking about the magic of this place I missed out the essence of this realization.

As much comfort that exists into simplicity of words, there is also enough perplexities of them which hides behind the complexity of words. Understanding that well, we always want to stay aloof from such confounding situations (I do that alot of times) . Like we say we want to simplify stuff but end up into complicating it further.
Ironically, this is how we are every where around, we try to say something, end up saying something else and then tend to correct what is said and that which is not said. In the middle of everything, the actual essence or content of communication is lost.

Someday, we might master this art of using a language and its appropriateness. So much so that with all the chaos we can still manage to romanticize with the incidences in various forms and ways (writing this blog could be one of them hahah...), now you know how efficient one could get to be with it ;).

Without stretching it further, it may not be possibly be the best thing to withdraw from this metaphoric side of life we have created for ourselves. But we surely can try to live with a democratic understanding and can utilize as many languages to say what we want to, but make sure to communicate exactly what is meant to be said by using those words and means, just simply say it out (Like in hindi its said- sidhe sidhe keh do). Its just that simple.

P.S. At times a long story is needed to land across a short msg ;) :P

I made a mistake that changed it all

Relations often taken for granted, certainly slip
When it slipped for me, i could hear my heart flip

Never saw myself the way you did,
And when I did, it wasn't enough candid.

Never noticed that 'I' turning into 'us',
Towards the end it just became a little obvious.

Mere ignorance led one thing to another,

Very much in time, it was barred to go further

The day it was outsmarted, judgement took over 

Every other piece of truth was considered to be fragmented.

It could mean nothing to me, but so much more to You
Act of correction is clearly dew

A major part of me was lost,
Thoughts of you overpower into me and I wonder how

Certainly, I made a mistake that changed it all

A stage from which we could just rise, i could only foresee our fall.

To condemn, it shall take me a long way
Shall walk through that to find you again if I may.

"haan toh ji kaise ho.... badhiyaan hi honge!!"

"haan toh ji kaise ho.... badhiyaan hi honge!!"

Like seriously... hum apne aapko yeh ek hi dialogue bol ke din me kitni baar jhoot kehte hai...

But for once genuinely can you mean to answer that question to yourself?

Trust me you will be surprised at the discoveries you make later. 

For me there have been numerous of answers to this same question every time its been asked...

Not that this appears to me only when I'm running low-key. Be it any time ... any day... any emotion... 

Just like any damn thing on earth this question has added sustainability to me in some or the other manner.

Certainly, I happened to learn things this way, by simply questioning myself. 

It may sound weird but I have found this as one of the best ways to self-study... 

I can be wrong and I like to be that way, cause sometimes being wrong is the only right way to be... 

And that was an amazing statement, isn't it!

Oh well... the only fear I have is to drop dead living into monotony of the mundane philosophies once (or may be always) said in general about life...

Not that I have experienced life in certain enormous way but why not!

Each day to its own... It can either be all the way or may be just no way...

Where ever it be... it should bring exuberance to my existence is all I work for...

And I am absolutely clueless to why am I sharing these stuffs, may be its just like those random days-random write-ups!! 
But if you find it interesting let me know your reviews :)   

When words ain't enough

While awaiting…

For a few glimpses of exuberance,

For stepping away from the menace,

For worldly fortune to shower,

For the luck to favor,

For the correct time to occur,

For all that what isn’t there,

The wait wasn’t over;

The wait was just never ever over!

All of it was plainly relinquished with the time passing by…

Oh well... somehow time has that rare quality of ‘keeping itself on a go'...

So make the most of all that you have...

Why, What, How & When... Is it really noteworthy to figure out these questions?

Directing yourself towards something is mostly preferable... 

Though being lost may be considered unauthentic; has a joy of its own kind… 

Several 'ifs' and 'buts' shall come in between your desired way...

Yet there is immensity in existence beyond your desires…

Embrace the view outside the bubble of your reality

Convince your fears; let your ardent desires find their way; not for anything but yourself…

When the forces around the world don't work on you…

Be the ferociousness wanting to work and keep going on that way…

To others your piece of cloth is either untidily sewed or left torn... 

But to you; you at least have that piece of cloth to work your bit on…

So what's the deal with going into a real deep conversation to only reach out for conclusions at the end?

Wouldn’t want to conclude this note… but let you guys hang around with an ongoing thought …

Cause when words ain't enough…

Silence has its own way of speaking!

While fixing it up...!

Couldn't do without sharing this part of a beautiful story I read this morning;

“…climbing a Himalayan mountain in search of a Swamiji seemed like a task. To climb up the mountain was not his kind of activity yet facing all those hustles, difficulties and extremities was surely worthy enough against the quest of knowing the answer to his question, to which he has been in search all this while. As informed by a few, he was asked to greet the Swamiji in a certain way of bowing down in front of him. 

Alas! When he reached that part of the mountain where Swamiji was sitting in his meditativeness… he bowed to him in the way explained, to which the Swamiji opened his eyes and blessed him. Looking at his worn-out condition then, Swamiji asked, “What has got you here?”

With utmost precipitation and excitement the man (in a hurried state with several thoughts rushing into his head) finally could ask his question , “Swamiji, please tell me what is life?”.

By the way this man aged 60… weird that he was asking this question at 60… it should have been asked when he was 6 or may be 16, anyway better late than never. 

Swamiji replied with a blissed smile and sparkled joy in his eyes saying, “Life is a gentle breeze with pleasant scent of jasmine having sparkling dew drops on it!”

This man was baffled with such an answer and said, “But back in my town all these years I was always told that life is like wretched thorns…” 

To that Swamiji, in his response said, “Well then that is what their life was about.”

Indeed true.

To experience LIFE is as simple and joyous as it is to live in it.
But then an attempt to understand life is made and the difficulty begins. All of a sudden it becomes painful like those wretched thorns.

Well if it’s so simple then why don’t we do it the simple way. Guess, the simplicity is certainly hijacked by the Monotony into everything and anything... happening around us. And surprisingly we also refrain to outgrow from it.

It’s in our face on daily basis; that on a certain day we be like ‘we are rolling in hay’ and on other days ‘be in a huff and sulk the way all along’. If the blame game had to be played; infinite contingencies can be inferred to. And if at all you were to take charge of yourself on this note, the reason and solution is none other than just ‘YOU'.

It’s equally interesting and confusing  at the same time. 

To add to it the dramatic shift of choices and chances shall just continue forever and ever... And Of-course that isn't a big deal.

About time this debate between the choices and chances is unwarily ongoing.

However I know that I have definitely managed to reach somewhere than being lost.

Just trying to make sure to be the CHOICE that I would choose to adorn so far. And take-up all the CHANCES them I wished had never given a pass (also I do drop a few of them, the chances which surely are unworthy of taking up ).

It’s eventually all about why and why not?

Repeating it again, LIVE it up! Definitely it’s never you who would find life while searching for it, but its life that hits you hard while you are unknowingly in a fix of fixing-up your own damn thing.  

In my case, I’m surely trying to fix up a few situations and would never give up on my side of search until life dares to confront me!!