2024 - The year of all the firsts

To all the Firsts: 

This was a year of firsts for me both experientially and emotionally too. Lodging all of them in a journal mode here to tell myself a decade later that the actual adulthood hit me in the year 2024.  

Encountering emotional losses: 

While growing up we all have positive attachments with our grandparents. They all are indeed special, and its heavenly if by chance they (or one of them) pick you are their favorites. The importance of life upgrades 10x times when ever you are around them. Engulfed into their warmth of the love and care showered upon you in every possible form- be a tight hug, every morsel of good lord food fed by their own hands, a dozen of life lessons shared, a zillion bedtime stories recited, childlike enthusiasm shared and always ready to support/scold you. Every bit of being around them is special.   

Then one fine day they decide to move on in life leaving you behind to deal with life all by yourself. I lost my dear Nanosa this year because as always he was in hurry to get to the next location, he decided to move onto the next phase of he life. With no time given to us to process what all happened in an eefing moment. The first time I felt the void of him not being around and yet keeping a check on us. The first time I realized the classic trick they used upon us. The trick is that they make you feel so amazing about yourself and your existence that you actually believe it to be true. Instead the reality being that you are just a random ordinary being in this huge scheme of life. I felt special because he made me feel like that, nothing really that I had in myself. 

The wonderful lessons and stories passed on to me through him are going to stay. So that one day, if I can, I hope to pass it on to the next generation in our lineage, like he did. 

Hitting Adulthood in the face: 

Adulting comes to you inevitably, I realized the real effect of adulting all through the year in different phases. One of which was to be responsible to adorn the responsibility of taking care of the health of your parents, parents in-laws and your family. Health insurance is serious stuff with loads of paper work in hand. Dealing with all the formalities and at the same time empathizing the situation with needed requisite actions to be executed was a unique first of a kind I wasn't prepared for but I learnt it all on my way in this year. 

Para-sailing: 

I have grown up in Mumbai, the city of dreams and beautiful India Ocean. Thus, being in love for the oceans or every kind of waterbody comes naturally flowing to me. Early during the year I was invited to our office catch up session in the land of beaches, GOA. In no time I was in Goan beaches dipping my feet in the sea for long hours. The soothing effect it has on you is like a meditative state of mind. The thrilling part of the trip was that on the last day we all in the group decided to parasail. It was during the golden hour of the day in the middle of the Indian Ocean, our boat stood still having me parasail for the very 1st time, in no time I was up in the air watching the sun eye-to-eye and feeling all the overwhelming feels. This was certainly one of the most liberating moments of this year.        

TREK: 

So Ankit and I decided to have our wedding anniversary trip to Bhutan, the land of majestic mountains and jaw dropping scenic valleys. This began with a little anniversary surprise for my husband where I had included the trek to Taktsang Monastery in Paro. This experience made us realize how much MORE we need to work on our health and fitness. The beauty of upscaling land and urge to reach up there somewhere in the mountains can land you face challenges that were completely unexpected. Yet the painful joy of returning back home after reaching the apex or anywhere near to that is also way too fulfilling. Nevertheless, the most rewarding part of the trek was a relaxing hot-stone bath at our resort.   

Never say Never: 

There is always some space for new things or experiences in life. Through all of these 1st kinds are nothing extreme or exceptional to the world but me. Right from handling adulthood assignment of being responsible while accompanying my family for some serious medical treatment getting done and loosing a dear closest family member, I understood the actual meaning of being responsible. The year where I experienced adventure through trekking a marginally difficult terrain of Taktsang Monastery, Bhutan only to realize the status quo of my fitness, and there is so much more work on to get it better. And the amazing eye-to-eye glance with a beautiful warm sun while parasailing on a beautiful beach of Goa. 

All of these could happen to me only because there has been so much more space to just let newness enter my life in different ways and more. You may never know it all, there is always room for more growth. And with almost 2 months already passed by in the year 2025, I am sure this year continues to contribute to my growth. 

     

 

 

To all things NEW & OLD !!!

Everything in life is comforting, only until you consider it to be so!

Such a dilemma proof statement which is also a-typical & hypocritical at the same time. Oh well; with all the ups & way too many downs going on around, in the middle of nowhere I just thought of writing some of it for now. 

The ransom effects of shifting from a place that has been your home to a new city, house, family and culture. There exist a constant comparison, more in your own head than the outside. The whole process of finding the comforting feeling and letting it go and repeating the process all way again & again is indeed a whole set of saga in itself.   

But the real melodrama begins when I am searching for myself midst of all the chaos that going on in and around my life. That damn feeling to keep the core values intact and alive take real effort. Also I keep reiterating to myself that "Happiness is the only serendipity I look out for". Though I don't know if that really is so. 

In the most adverse situations remember the filmy thought "If its not happy, its not the end!!!" 

Cringe enough but yeah this thought has been the force of my motivation in so many ways in the past few years. The factual realization that being happy is actually suppose to be bare minimum basic and not just at the end. Cause the moment when you find happiness, is it moment of being clearly thoughtful and the most self aware you can ever be. The catch is that the moment of happiness can only be lived and cannot be stored or so in any form or manner. 

Encapsulating happiness also sounds like an impossible task. The impossibility of the thought is not that we may not be able to live that feeling again but it is only that we must know how to be consistent at it, about being happy. It could be a habit, a person, a place, a memory from our past (majorly childhood for most humans), any particular time of the day, situational factors and could also be everything. 

All things new and old have always existed in itself parallelly. I am the one navigating through them in the mode past and present. And its only the naive me who understood later enough now that, Once I have figured out to be consistent at my things, my people, my habits, my place, my world and everything that remains to be mine without actually having me to call it mine, I knew I am happy. 

And now thing is, once the basics of happiness is found, I only have to cherish it. Just this is actually enough to let happiness breathe around me. Cause eventually happiness is the beginning of all things wonderful awaiting to happen in life. And irrespective of all the considerations; comfort eventually only follows happiness.    

PoV: A major Life lesson learnt- Comfort follows being happy with your own self.   

   

Oh... LOVE!!!

Oh Dear Ankit!

Until about 8 months ago, I nearly never knew what love can mean and change me as a person. I mostly wondered, love is this thing that is all the cheesy-cheeky stuff romanticized only in our heads or mentioned in some form of literature or art form. It is certainly for a few lucky ones I have had the chance to witness in my life. But that is not my thing, like nahhh. At least for my own self I thought who is ever going to bring out love in the purest form. 

And then one very FINE day with the least expectations I met you, not to forget with the whole jing-bang of arranged marriage meeting hyped set-up. It was one of those days where I had too many mixed emotions and was so pissed that I had declared to my mom that this is the last time I am coming along with you for such a meeting. Alas! The Universe did hear me out. And little did I know, you were gonna be the one for me. 

I must confess, I have been attracted to you from the first hesitant stare/glance we had at each other. The first conversation went out to be random enough that we discussed quite literally anything on earth. And with so much ease & comfort. So much so that it barely consumed anytime to pass the bridge of those initial formal interaction to now roasting each other every now & then. 

Everything about love and our story is not dreamy, it does come with its equal share of difference of thoughts and opinions about life and the kind of life we plan to live together. As much detailed as we plan, our lives will surprise and shock us in more ways than we know. In the midst of all the surprises and shocks I am excited to be by your side.  

I always thought, I have been mostly in control of my emotions. In that lieu I ended up holding onto my emotional side in front anyone else. Especially expressing why I cried if ever I do. The major change I noticed in myself is not holding onto my emotions at all now. The emotional side of me just flows like a running river does to the ocean side. And trust me its so liberating.

Oh Dear Ankit, now that we are married for a few days already I am witnessing some very prominent changes in my life and all around me. Luckily all these changes are fairly positive so far. When I imagine about the odds of us meeting and the chemistry that struck between us; all of it feels like pure magic that was destined to happen. I can never thank the Universe enough for bringing you into my life. And I am not even going attempt to the abundant blissfulness you let me be in with the mix comfort and challenges you come along for me.      

In this whole wide world, nahhh in this whole wide Universe I get to spend this beautiful life ahead along with you. As much as I trust in creating my own destiny, I now trust the Universe as it has better plans already written for us. 

Looking forward to waking up to you every morning, laughing together until my stomach hurts, watching spectacular sunsets along with sunrises, crushing my diet with eating some delicious & authentic delicacies of our hometown, chatting over coffee dates, chilling out with nearly no agenda but holding hands, judging & bitching about the random errands, vacationing at some exotic and non-exotic locations on earth, loving to letting you love me and most importantly taking care of each other for this lifetime.       

Indeed! I am in in delight with the taste of Love as a mixture of all the emotions and its gorgeousness in every possible way. 

Samay ki Dhaar!!!

Naye saal ki nayi aakanshanyien 

isshtehaar sunate hai hume nayi subah ki khabre aur usse judi baatien 

kuch aisi baatien jo mann dehlaade 

aur kuch aisi jinhe sirf mann behlaa dene ke liye hi bataya gaya hai

mann me nayi ulhaas aur tarang hai par

shaam savere koi baat hai jo mann me baithi hui hai 

naa keh paati hun, naa khud tak rakh paati hun... 

Raahe kitni hi hai aage jinhe khud ke liye chunna hai

kuch dur tak le jaaye toh kuch manzil se bhatkaaye 

nirantar aage chalte rehne par ek mod par lagta hai ke nahi pata kahaan jaa rahi hun

jo kar rahi hun woh sahi hai bhi yaa nahi 

dekh lenge kya hi hoga yeh khayaal rehte hue 

shaam savere koi baat hai jo mann me baithi hui hai 

naa keh paati hun, naa khud tak rakh paati hun... 

shabdh nahi bana paati bas kayi baar aasun beh jaate hai 

akelepan ki sooyiyaan bahot chubhti hai 

shikayat khudh se karu yaa dusron se 

yeh bhi tey nahi kar paati theek se 

shaam savere koi baat hai jo mann me baithi hui hai 

naa keh paati hun naa khud tak rakh paati hun... 

sab kehte hai samay ki dhaar, rait ki tarah hai

iss waqt me jyaada khush yaa maayus naa hona

yeh waqt bhi chala jaayega 

yeh keh ke khudko behlaa bhi nahi paati 

shaam savere koi baat hai jo mann me baithi hui hai 

naa keh paati hun naa khud tak rakh paati hun!!!

The year 2021 !!!

Every year end comes with abundant hopes for new beginnings. With each passing year I have developed a practice to introspect and improvise myself. As we all unanimously thought 2020 was a though year but hello 2021 has been a roller coaster ride too. It came along with several ups and a few downs, here and there of its own. As a ritual I am only journaling the facets of eventually how this year went by for me. Here we go...

Uncertainty is indeed an everyday affair. We like it or not, it is needed to be dealt with utmost care. There have been umpteen numbers of hours invested in planning, thinking and figuring out or fitting in perfection into anything I am attempting to do. sooner or later, all of it falls flat as against to these uncertain aspects of situational dramedy my life has made special arrangements for me. Not that I have yet let these uncertainties affect my the planning part to be left to procrastination or bypassed. Alongside, only learnt to create a room for not so contingent apprentices will never hurt much. It shall only further add enough masala to unusual routine affairs.  

Surprises can easily convert into shocks and vice-versa. In both the cases I do make a fool out of myself. The entire year has been a bunch of incidences falling prey to situational whereabouts. These have brought both delightful and adverse feels. Anyway, I love the mix bag of emotions which comes along in these surprisingly shocking times.  

Expect the unexpected. With passing time, growing age & experience, I thought things & people around would get predictable. It will be super easy to anticipate actions and reaction of myself and others too. But then, it usually doesn't works in this fashion. And in most cases I have now learned to distinguish the nature of reality verses how it appeared in my imagination. It serves the only purpose of amusing introspection to myself. 

Consistency is the key to transformation. I went through some decent healthy lifestyle and physic change. It was earned after following daily workout sessions and some strict diet plans. A lot of the credit goes to my fitness coach and the fact that I dedicated the disciplined side of myself to it. Everyone acknowledged with praises and opinions on the tangible change they saw in me. Though only few could understand I am headed toward only being a healthier version of myself.  

Learning to say 'No' is an art, and I am learning it slowly but steadily. I have never been a yes person yet saying no or even expressing my discomfort towards anything was a task for me. Figured out in a few situations that the answer can be nothing else but no. The good part about it is that saying it courageously in a straight forward manner comes with enormous contentment. 

Family and Friends are weird yet too dear. Sure things is that they have to be handled with care and ignorance. They will get demanding, at least the ones around me does more than often. No matter how much so ever you offer yourself to them, some of it it will get missed or unattended. At times when these closed ones get difficult to manage all I think I can do is agree to disagree with them on a few of the incidences. To accept that it is okay to be flawed and still love every near and dear ones is the real deal. Since I ain't a chocolate cake or gajar ka halwa, I can't make everyone of them happy but at least I tried is good enough for me.

World is a beauty and so is 'Tawang'. A trip that came along with experiences of exhilarating exuberance. On this trip nature in form of mountains & river-fronts rubbed their magic on me like never before. Everything about this trip has been spectacularly razzle-dazzles. You can read my experience in much detail here. In addition to the experience and joy of visiting this heaven on earth has been that I found the exact kind of house design and lifestyle I want to build for & around myself. All those enormous inspirations I draw from this trip, adds to the bank of hope for goodness and prosperity for me and everyone around as well, to make world a better place. I know it sounds kind of cliché, but that's okay.  

Travel, travel and travel. The best part about travelling is that it gets me excited to plan my next travel plan while I am already in a journey. It actually happens to most of us. And I guess I am always too tempted, excited and a certain kind of greedy when it comes to travelling. Undisputedly, I love being a constant voyage. The charm of packing & unpacking, prepping the arrangements of comfort food, jumping from one destination to another, collecting human stories in a personal narrative form, hustling to make the best use of the limited time I have on each of my trips, soaking in all of it and etc. Noting down most of my experiences in a diary (its a self created ritual), only to not have missed any of these precious moments on some of the times in future when I decide to look back on my own travelling saga.    

Investment needs to be a regular habit. Earlier this year I came across this amazing book called The Almanack of Naval Ravikant wherein a few simple and effective tactics of compound interest were shared. It was an wonderful read because a heavy topic of investment was majorly explained through different simplified thread of tweets. It added to my knowledge on how to grow money from my money in an easy DIY fashion. Ever since that I have been recommending this book and encouraging most of my peers to develop this habit ASAP.   

Jugaad pe duniya tiki hai, hum kaam toh kar hi sakte hai. Its been over a year, I have had a standard traditional form of working contract, thanks to turmoil created by the pandemic. Instead, I began looking out for different arenas of work and projects. I am glad, I could find projects, people and organizations matching my interests. This process has most definitely demanded a lot of my time & attention, alongside made me realize the strength of my potential in a positive manner. 

'Yeh ho kya raha hai life me!'
Copyright 2021. Ankita Jain 

Discovering my own self has been a perpetual task. 

I am glad to have been on it for acing this one task of life. I firmly believe there is no particular reason to settle down with myself or reason out my doings. I am on it for this task not for any superfluous philosophy of life. I am on it for the fact that I can intrigue myself, time and again. I want to persistently remain equivalent to soft sand, ready to adapt and mold itself into every new possibility. I want to be all different forms of femineity such as a Goddess, a Queen, a Ninja, a Wanderer, a Goofball and sometimes all of it at once. I want to reflect upon myself every year (like just now) to be grateful for being able to have come this far. Honestly, there is much gratification for living up all of it with grace and kindness.     

Also, not to forget, Timing is the real bitch. Re-iterating the fact that no matter how many perfect plans I am going to make, the universe will always have something bigger and better designed in it for me. As the new year is nearing and like every calendar year I am headed to make new plans for every anticipated aspect of life. Equally, excited to live up the changes our dear universe is going to make in those plans while all of it comes to execution. Assertively hoping 2022 to be a whole deal of uniquely eased betterment. Fingers Crossed.   

 

TAWANG, you beauty!

Somewhere in July 2021, in a random discussion where my trip to Goa was getting cancelled for a blah reason. There seated my cousin Gaurav received a text and itinerary of a trip to a city in Arunachal Pradesh. Further he asked if I want to join in, I immediately said yes and 2.5 half months later we got onto our journey to TAWANG! 

Little did I know this vacation could be so much more than just a distraction from reality. This trip truly enriched my love for travel and did change me in so many ways. I have attempted to note down a few of my experiences and observations here.    

The journey is as important as the destination! Most of our journey to reach Tawang we travelled was on the road, i.e. for about 3 days in a row. The long stretched drives in the valley of mountains with the Brahmaputra river by our side, spectacular views and cold breeze were totally worth it. This drive was as much enjoyable as the joy of reaching to our destination. 

Nature has its own way of speaking with us. For me mountains and beauty goes hand in hand. Especially when the mountain belong to Himalayan ranges, it is guaranteed with magnificent views. All of my time in the beautiful Arunachal Pradesh, I have witnessed extraordinary mountain views; during sunsets, sunrises, around river side, paddy fields besides the flowing river, lakes, different kinds of mountain terrains, different shades of the sky, city set-up in between the lush green mountains and the list goes on and on. I personally crave for sunrise & sunset views. I made sure to watch the sun rise and settle each day. And during the daylight while I saw the beautiful sky change its color shades and patterns as the sun raised and settled in the valleys, it marked an astonishing meditative practice for me. Needless to say the scenery could turn any one of us into a wanderlust creature. 

Enriching conversations and people add the real wealth to life.  I consider myself always fortunate enough to have amazing people around and with every new person I met on this trip has made me even more prosperous.

The group- This was the first time I had joined a group of people on a vacation wherein more than 70% of them were complete strangers to me. I ended up making amazing friends and acquaintances of them all. The journey of knowing people is an all together different know-how from being strangers to courteous to accommodative to giggling to cracking up out of nowhere to inside jokes to eventually making memories for life, have seen this development with the entire group. It was ultimately a great leap of faith I took. BTW the gang can be addressed as Gaurav- the gossiping entertainer, Omkar- the photographer,  Shilpi- the student who just graduated on this trip ;), Eeshita & Nikita- the trip planners, Rahul- my food companion, Paras- the silent killer, Kalpesh- the sarcasm master and Varsha- the sweetheart manager.    

The tour driver- Dilbarji, we kind of misunderstood him earlier but later on we found out he was a total gem of a person. I am glad he was there, to drive us safely back and forth on the journey. He is also the reason we enjoyed our drive throughout the difficult terrain of mountains on our way pretty much seamlessly.  

Indian Army Officers- The respect for humans in Uniforms, especially Army men any day multiplies. Here I got a chance to meet two amazing Army officers on our 1st day itself in Tenga. A chat that got built out from the search for sattvic food. They did share some part of their life stories with us and added several suggestions/recommendations for our travel. They also offered help open heartedly. Such generosity is rare to be found. And throughout on the journey, have witnessed Army men taking loads of care of the Indian land and people in the most adverse places and situations too. Another incident was when an army officer offered us Khada-Prasad of Gurudwara on our way back from Bomlapass, it was also much needed given that we were way too hungry at that hour. Indeed we are in safe hands, protected well enough at the borders.

The Tawang family we met at Mandala Top- It began with us wanting to click pictures with three cute and happy kids of this family. The parents were very happy and nice to let us click a few pictures with their kids while they were on a Dusshera outing. While we were exchanging our errands and experience of visiting tawang for the 1st time, they offered us a few shots of home-made wine along with details of offbeat places to visit to when we come back to their city. The kids, surprisingly were sporting several poses with each one of us for pictures adding their own spunk. This family was more of a breath of fresh air to us. They re-iterated the fact that goodness does exist and the world is indeed filled with loving humans.

The concept of Homestays- We halted at about three homestays on this trip. The Wangdi's Homestay in Dhirang, amazing hospitality along with great sky view from it's terrace and river side view (the river flow music was a constant meditation). The second stay was at Tashi's Homestay in Tawang, I had never seen before this a house full of flowers and a personally maintained greenhouse. The owner's hospitality, warmth and food was totally heartfelt. And last but not the least, Norbu Homestay in Sangti Valley, a cozy cottage along with homely vibes and amazing food. The best part was the bon fire with classic stargazing view and a brightly shining moon. I have quite literally found my inspiration of the kind of house & location where I want to build, reside and invite my friends & family to visit me in my old-age.  

Disconnect from the outside to connect with yourself from within. We realized later in a day and half on the way that there is going to be most no or minimum network on our phone. It was bothering for like a while at the beginning for like an hour or so but later I considered it a blessing instead. I could enjoy the place with absolute no technological distraction was only to my advantage for sure. 

Leaving is painful. It has always been hard to say goodbye for me; to humans for sure but even to places who have given me astounding memories for a lifetime. Theory of relativity is most definitely applicable to this situation, wherein when I look back at the amazing nine days gone by in a swoosh. It is as similar to the mountain view that went out of my site while our vehicle took a turn on the mountain roads. 

Vacation withdrawals are a real thing. 

Real enough to an extend that I woke up at 4.40am i.e. sunrise time in the valleys of Arunachal Pradesh. Its just been a day back home yet to process myself back into this city of dreams I have belonged all my life. It is struggle-some, everything feels a bit off and out of the place for now. I guess I am just a bit hungover on my holidays.  Secretly I wish to have many such hangovers often enough. 

While almost all is said and done, I am more than elated to have been on this trip. Tawang, your beauty has added to my experiences of life and lifestyle in multitudinous ways and manners. I can only offer my gratitude to everyone who crossed paths with me on this journey. They have made this trip a delightful reality I have lived in this lifetime. 

Being back to home is a good feel, though I have affirmatively carried a part of Arunachal with me along with a silent wishful thought to be back here again to visit this heavenly city again.

 

Long Distance Friendship Drama

On a usual afternoon, Chinmay (my best friend) asked me on text if we could video chat. Video or messages are the only resort for a long distance friendship scenarios. He happens to work and operate out of Germany and I am here in India. It felt stupid to me at first when asked but then I was like yes ofcourse, its been ages we should definitely do that. 

He called me in the afternoon and this time around he asked me for specific time as well, so I did mention that I have my workout scheduled until 6.30 pm, we could chat post that. He made sure he called exactly at the said time, and I was in my regular chirpy way yapping about my first world happenings in life to which he switched the phone call into a video. And what the hell the video call showed my own house, which meant he was right outside my house here to surprise. Damn, I jumped out of happiness to have him over in India after almost 2 years (all thanks to the pandemic restrictions). These are the small yet so special acts you have done over and over in all these years. These are also the reasons that makes him super special for me.  

The fact that Chinmay is here in person to visit me is happiness and a natural feel good factor. I am still smiling while typing this sentence. To add to all of it, he has come back not just to visit India & all of us but also to get married, is the cherry on the cake. Chinmay, you are most definitely one of the best people I know. I am sure with this new phase of marriage the best in your life is yet to begin. 

Congratulations to you and Ketki. Secretly she has no idea, what she is signing up for yet ;). All I can do is warn & wish her all the best with you. 

Thank you for always being there, even in those times when I want to run away from you and the world around. You have been the blessing the Universe granted me as bonus into this life.  

Desire!

The beginning's are usually humble, 

as the journey picks up the desire multiplies.

Constant semblance & need to do more,

turns our life structure into a puzzle; 

the now looks blurred, while looking back, the time flies.

Scattered essence of burning flames, rush and greed are indulgent, 

they drive us through immeasurable madness unable to apprise;

Ray of hope & opportunity is all around us in an imaginary bubble, 

lucky when a spot found into it and devastatingly deviated otherwise;

The moment when you think, 'I have figured it out and have endless things to talk about...', 

metamorphose into that very moment, 

where barely enough words are found to even begin with;

On one hand, it feels like all of it is in our knowledge and on the other,

there isn't anything that feels even familiar.

Thus, the desire continues its exploration...

to know more and be more !!!

Asmanjas Ki Paribhasha!

Shaam ka samay pure din ka ant hai ya raat ki shuruvaat, 

jaise kisi sikke ke do pehluon ke beech ka antar ho...

apne jeevan ki tulna me sochti hun ke iss antar me hi jee rahi hun kahin,

jitna  kathin hai ek pehlun tak pahunchna, utna hi aasaan hai iss antar me hona...

kabhi lagta hai ke asmanjas ka yeh daur kitna lamba chalega,

koi din aisa bhi hoga jab ek faisley ka saamna kar, aage badhna hi hoga...

shayad aaj woh din ya raat ke beech vyatit hote samay ki vyatha aur peedha bhog rahi hun.. 

apne hi bane sawal-jawaab ke jhund me gum hun,

apne hi bane sawalon me kahin jawaab khoj rahi hun!!!

One Quarter Down!!!

It was just about a quarter ago we all were celebrating the New Year's Eve welcoming the year 2020 with exuberant levels of excitement and zest. Little did we know that this twin year had planned a pandemic of corona virus for all of us at the very beginning of this decade. 

At this point in time, a quarter of this year has already passed away and most of us around the world are locked down into our homes/locations. The prime agenda on everyone's head is #FightTheVirus; which has lead to nation wide lock-down along with a few stringent other actions. The basic idea is simple-- create social distancing and do not let this pandemic spread any further; eventually break the chain. Bas isse jyaada gyaan baatne ki aavashyakta nahi iss topic pe, atleast iss artcile me.

The bright side of the situation is that while most of the human clan have been asked to sit back and relax and by just doing this, the lowered human footprints on earth has allowed rest of the species evidently enjoy and reclaim their space back in nature. Therefore, overall this lock-down thing isn't that bad of an idea.  

Coming back to us humans, currently all the good great plans have been crashed and the simplicity of life just as basic survival has taken over. To be true, secretly I am loving it. There are several good-bad sides of the situation floating all around the internet already... thus, I am not getting into it. Rather want to express my happiness of 'living by your own-self' concept is a pleasure of its own kind.

This quarantine situation also brings my attention to yet another known fascinating concept called 'theory of relativity'. Like it was just about yesterday that we were celebrating the year end at NYE and blabbing around how amazing the year 2020 will be; looking forward to complete 12 months ahead of us to do stuff, beginning of the decade etc etc. Oh! well 3 months later I hear a lot of people complaining about how on earth are they suppose to pass this time, life is so boring etc etc. Certainly a 180 degree change of view in the thought process.

To further clarify, first of all- time always passes in an equal pace, it remain untouched and doesn't care to bother how we feel about it. But our feelings, those totally dependent on our ways of dealing with time. If we are happy it makes us feel the speed of time passing by, though time gives no fucks about how we feel or deal with it. Time shall continue to do what it was doing.... pass by at its regular own pace.

In the meanwhile, until the lock-down continues and our planet learns to deal with the virus situation; I urge all of you to enjoy your own company, cause if you can't do that, do expect others complaining when accompanied by you. Anyway, this too shall pass, lets pass it on with a smile. On that note, I wish all of you a great time to your self as its just one quarter down, we still have rest of year to deal with. :)

Waiting at a cliff, watching the sun settle and time pass by itself. Chittorgarh 2020. Ankita Jain 

Should you be around...

Under the stars... gazing at the moonlight,

life looks easy, just and might;

as the sea waves touch my feet,

the worries wash out and flow away, far away with the fleet; 

let the breeze be the essence,

and letting me walk over the set imaginary fence;

silver colored sand spread around,

gleaming beauties of fire-flies were to be found;

in that moment, just in that moment,

holding the past and spending the present;

this brief life of mine,

working too hard to out-do and shine;

have been thriving and trying to figure out,

little did I know about the actual whereabouts;

yet someday all of it shall be worth it;

to be there and not to be there, at the same time, seems fine; 

Under the stars... gazing at the moonlight,

life looks easy, just and might;

while I wait for the sun to rise, shine & bright;

should you be around,

yet again to let my heart skip a beat.

An Average's Cult

"Be wise to make your choices, remember that every choice is valid and it has its respective consequences." by Mr Devdutt Patnaik mentioned this one of his speeches drawing inferences from the Indian mythological stories. After all a person is nothing but a mix of all the random/intentional choices it made at one or the other time in it's lifetime.

There is common weirdness I observe in the chosen lives of mostly everyone around in the cities.  The foremost factor is to earn yourself a settled lifestyle, which is majorly a standard schedule template, i.e. wake up-work-eat-play-sleep-and repeat... also a few times Netflix & chill too. according to me, as of now this usual life is nothing but monotony that has held its grip over it. It is sad to know when people name it as a certain kind of settled lifestyle.

Really!

Surprisingly, this is what an ideally stated settled life and its style is by the so called norms of the current world. On second thoughts why does the notion of settlement with life has to happen so early upon with anyone or everyone.

Oh well! from my point of view its boring and I will never come to terms that it is absolutely fine to continue living like this for the rest of the time in life. It is such a waste of time living life such a way. Cause if you live like this monotonous way over and over again, are you even living?

This pattern much feels like unsatisfactory and unsettled. And personally, it further scares the shit out of me for sure. There is so much more to do, know, absorb and express... exploring life is an additional bonus for all of us. Yet most of us continue to remain unaware, hold back and be weary of living life. Sad, Isn't it?

Look I don't mean to be advising anyone to get into the adventurous mode like those fancy bloggers/vlogger do. I am sure those set of advises can be found all over the internet in plenty, trust me it doesn't help much if you just scroll down through those advises without acting upon them.

Being adventurous and stepping away from reality is fun for a while and stressful when it becomes medium of escapism. Cause apparently the liaison of being perceived as something you are not is even more burdensome. It also doesn't take you any farther, infact has enough more chances to pull you back.

Sometimes its better to not fix things around. It is even better to sit back and ponder, stare at the sky and wonder (about 'the how' and not 'the why' of a situation). I simply mean to say that it is okay to not be okay. Just know that its not okay.

And in my experience a confused state of mind is always better over a settled mindset. And the time for a settle mind is not so soon.

To find yourself you need to accept and understand yourself first... this is foremost important thing to do. Rest everything will be okay and follow through.

For now live it up one thing at a time. Eventually all your choices will gather up soon for better!!
Yeah, in the end it will for sure sum it up all by itself, until then its all chilled out :). 

At least I did like to think of it to be so.

Chalo bahut global gyaan ho gaya aaj ke liye!!

P.S.: I made an attempt to write down my confusions but guess this article will make you equally confused. Enjoy and leave your thoughts/comments below.  

'Love' is to choose and be!

 © 2013 Ankita Jain, All Rights Reserved. 

‘Love' is to choose and be,

Oh! rather it’s a mended concept coming from a knothole.

It often scares me as you could tap into my conscience...

with that one touch, those eyes staring deep across my soul.

No matter how much it is denied and defied,

your presence around me affects me and makes all my efforts shallow.

There is so much more to know, to express and to absorb... 

and yet we continue to remain unaware, hold on to ourselves and argue.

The catch here isn't that you can't have it your way, it is that you can't have all of it your way.

I believe, there is nothing right or wrong... at the very moment, what you do is do!

Cause 'Love' is to choose and be, 

Oh! rather it’s a mended concept coming from a knothole!!!

Somewhere in the middle of this year... 2018.

Okay! so we were celebrating New Year’s Eve just a while ago and its end of June 2018 already. It’s all of a sudden, the 'happy realization’ moment for me, wherein too much happens before one could even realize to live it for itself. Anyway, just like half of the year has passed by in a blink of an eye, rest of the 2018 shall pass too. 

So, some random thought hit me up this morning- what would it be like to wake up a couple of years ahead from now into the future life... seems adventurous yet scary; as I don't want to miss out on living some part of life and waking up to know nothing about that missed portion about myself. 

It could be that there is just too much happening around, though nothing specific but just enough of things/events and stuff taking me into a transformational form or sorts. And probably everything looks like too demanding of a situation to have my attention. For instance, while checking out any sort of media content on a daily news paper/channel or facebook/twitter/instagram, it mentions a hundred and more headlines from around the country, world or sometimes even universe, yet how much of it is really a NEWS for me as an individual; to be true mostly none of it is. And the fact that these set of news gets updated every minute, actually every second. That is too much of information to address and handle at the same time, isn't it? 

With that speedy update of news, situations are changing in itself at a rapid speed (in my head for sure) and of-course none other than the great ‘technology’ has to be blamed for that. Oh well! that is what the researches usually conclude as a statement on the situational crisis of such kind. I kind of disagree, cause technology alone has not grown enough to be completely blamed for this situation. Instead of understanding the core and to accept facts about the growing sense of impersonal behaviors is a must. Another 'happy realization' moment.

There are several studies and researches to back this up, yet to experience it live, all I had to do was to go out for a coffee by myself in a cafeteria and look around and not at my phone (for a change). The place was filled with people yet felt very empty. There was food which meant to be uploaded on social media more and for consumption less. There was music which did feel like noise. There were and could be so many other things which came into notice and yet got un-noticed. If ever I had to explain this situation in a word, I would call it arid. It felt like every-one (including myself) is rushing into something or somewhere and yet unable to reach at the set destination at all. It is all excessively distracted and it does happen to all of us repetitively. Resulting into a sense of being social yet the reality is anti-social kind of. Also by now I’m sure, I have begun to sound like a maniac.  

Am wondering what exactly am I trying to connect because I totally love everything that is there in my life, yet am missing out on.... may be the liveliness of life that felt a few years ago.  It was all just too enjoyable and eventful back then, when situation/people/lifestyle were not too advanced. Though somewhere running down the memory lane most of us must have thought in a similar way of life being amazing with technological advancements. While the advancement are now being a part of us and more than just an experience, keeping us more and more dependable on technologies and stuff.

                                         

Therefore, all i wish for is to set myself slightly aloof from the so called news and updates. And get this year 2018 which has gone by at lightning speed so far (at least for me), somehow somewhere slows down to get back the lost contentment and simplicity into my life again. Look around, be grateful and stay happy cause half the year is yet to happen ;).

Just two different sides

Stories, stories from everywhere; several of them; Yours-mine-ours;

Those with which we build several bridges in different walks of our lives… A few told and many of them remain untold.

Though someday, all of us too shall turn into a story.

This buzzing sound of ‘hurry’ all-around is loud and evident... 

In the similar vicinity there exists absolute silence, quiet and calm... 

While walking our way into an unknown pathway...

Seems everything is known about nothing...

Yet there is too much around for a living but

not much to earn a living... 

Having people from different kinds and origins crossing by...

Gorgeous mornings, Random days and Calm evenings...

Countless extremities to handle, bringing in turmoil and balance...

At the very moment, endless things to be dealt with the stance... 

Usual habitats have feather weight artifacts frost…

Mere intensity of emotions and feels are lost…

To begin is the toughest step they said,

Oh! Well so is the last step while situations end... 

Like every coin has two different sides, neither good nor bad...

Just two different sides... that's how our lives rides...

And then there are stories; 
Stories from everywhere, several of them, yours-mine-ours;

Those with which we build several bridges in different walks of our lives… A few told and many of them remain to ourselves.

And someday inadvertently, all of us too shall turn into a story.

In the middle of a night🤔

People, places and almost everything looks to be scattered, so much so that I wake up in the middle of this night to write down this piece of blog article. 

And as I understand, this is for sure bothering me for real; no, not writing this article but this unusual habit I have now of suddenly waking up from my sleep and jumping into a pool of thoughts coming in from in-between of anywhere and everywhere.

Okay, this might sound like a retard activity but right now there is an abundance of confusion in and and around me. Enough to make me as bemused as I could have ever be. 

To be true its difficult to word it out or explain this awkwardness. At once, I want it all & fight for all of it by myself. Also, at all other times; just want to let life happen the way it should. 
Rather I want to SCREAM at the top of a hill, CRY my heart out, KICK-OUT some serious stuff, LAUGH like never before, RUN endlessly... runaway from everything around; thinking that then I will never have to think of things the way I do. But that certainly is just not true.

Oh! But then things at my end certainly refrain to happen the way it was planned or wished for, leaving me with all the confusions and adversities to be dealt around. 

And I realize writing it all this way doesn't help any further, yet i am writing it down :P anyway. Also am aware that doing it this way simply adds to the set of confusions I already have over several bits existing around. 

Being sort of an optimist makes me think, that there definitely is a sense of assertive possibility in every way stated in this existence, yet the possibility that is expected or understood shall never take place in reality (in my case for sure). There is yet another angle to the situation which is not that it was never anticipated. It is probably that things and situations are more often anticipated just the way it should not happen than what should happen. 

Its like the way its said, "if want something you simply ask for it and let it be." Though what is actually done in most of the scenarios is totally opposite. Certainly, when and how it will not get to you is thought about a lot more times than how one could get to it. Guess, this where the basis of  'law of attraction' phenomena exists. 

Its in-between the wants and needs where all the fuss of the situation remains to be now and since forever. Choosing what is needed over the wants is not as easy as thought about. And as a matter of fact not many options available for me to act upon the current situation to let me play the hero part and have a make-n-break or bring-revolution-over-evolution kinds stories. Instead all of it is just beyond my capacity for me to handle it for myself. Also maybe i am too bored and reluctant to act anyway. 

And that certainly brings happy realization moment for me that-  I no more want and need anything beyond the realm of my own capacity. 

Usually the times when I am broke, I choose not to write but doing it this time is helping me look at the neutral side of the story. Guess making it an exception today has helped. 

For once and for all, being hopeful is the last bit of the thing I want to do where am wishing things to just happen where no fight is needed- in real and in my head. Like the feeling you get when i am saying it out loud to myself that “let it be, just don’t let it go”.

Today, all i need to do is be on the same page of reality as it is. Let the dirth walk away and make some room for myself to be and let this pass out without having much to do about it. Cause when given a choice, choose what is needed to be done is feasible over what is wanted to be done. Otherwise its just all much ado about nothing.

P.S.- Dear reader- I know it was way too random, and even if you can't understand the head or tail of this article, try not judging me. A few times, to understand exact meaning of things around is not all that you can do.

And there she was...

All that was talked about, were her disagreements;

and there she was trying understand and cope with the situations.

Several "Dos N' Don'ts" were listed to draw those lines of limit,

and there she was heading towards liberation.

Everyone was talking about her elemental aspect...

and there she was trying to build herself.

Those certain set of expected capabilities were unending,

and there she was acing & experimenting every bit of adventure including the expected ones.

Could there be an attempt to hear her side of story,

but yeah there she was voicing her opinions in several expressions.

Worshiped in all possible ways and means for personal benefits,

and despite of knowing it all there she was blessing goodness for all.

I could go on and on with the amount of differences she deals with almost everyday.

Nor is this article meant to be feminist and nor does the other side of this world completely overtakes, but the majority of them intends to.

Guess being strong was misunderstood, so much so, to an extent that she went against herself and several alike her. This scenario couldn't have been more disgraceful.

Noting all of it here, so that may be someday this can only be looked back to mention all of it as a mere past and there are no carry forwards,cause SHE IS AND WILL ALWAYS- CREATE GRACE, MANAGE SITUATIONS, STAY LIBERATED, BETTER'S HERSELF, SHINES WITH EXCLUSIVITY, SPEAK IT OUT and lastly STAY BLESSED.

The metaphoric side....

Recently had to startle into a random trip to my hometown- which is also the best place on earth I know.
Its probably the only place where I have actually grew-up- not literally, but in terms of understanding things better - everything that is not me and myself.

Those several traces of delight-joy-happiness-sorrow-anger-confusion-disgust and the endless list of emotions could be felt in this one place altogether. So every-time on my visit here- I have those sudden realization moments filled with enlightenment. For me its one of those places where on the emotions graph chart several HIGHS and LOWS are noticed. All that is needed or can be done at best is experiencing them all in complete contentment of those emotions.

Oh well! before I get too sentimental and distracted about this magical land which I call mine by all means and methods- will share the sudden realization moment this time around on my trip here-- the art of using language.

There is a peculiarity utilized here in addressing everyone or expressing what you mean to say. One such peculiarity is that you say what you want to say but not directly (Like in hindi its said- ghuma fhira ke kehna). At first I use to be perplexed by the such a methodology but then understood the conversations here- though found them too tedious.

For example if we had to address the king of a province- we use phrases like (having added all the dramatic nuances in the address)- 'the prime royalty of this land' or 'the hereditary sovereign - our majesty'; Or may be something as close to expressing love- 'ohh my dear to heart'--' ..my life could start and end with your existence' and many more of such melodramatic dialogues.

Now whats so new about this- like we all know some or the other kind of language/s and the art of using it is a truly articulate way of communication. That may be true, but we miss out on a fact that in the urge of justifying this art we loose the essence of communication. It is commonly observed in several instances, nothing very new in it, yet very new to me.

With no offence to such an address to the King or such Expressions of Love, the cover up of words with addition of drama is a little too much here. Though why can't we just simply say exactly what we mean to say- like recognize a King as simply as 'KING' or express love by just saying 'Love' and clearly mean it.

What crept me is the fact that the idea of using words in the best way possible we miss out on saying what we actually want to communicate. Allying with the thought,  just when I was talking about the magic of this place I missed out the essence of this realization.

As much comfort that exists into simplicity of words, there is also enough perplexities of them which hides behind the complexity of words. Understanding that well, we always want to stay aloof from such confounding situations (I do that alot of times) . Like we say we want to simplify stuff but end up into complicating it further.
Ironically, this is how we are every where around, we try to say something, end up saying something else and then tend to correct what is said and that which is not said. In the middle of everything, the actual essence or content of communication is lost.

Someday, we might master this art of using a language and its appropriateness. So much so that with all the chaos we can still manage to romanticize with the incidences in various forms and ways (writing this blog could be one of them hahah...), now you know how efficient one could get to be with it ;).

Without stretching it further, it may not be possibly be the best thing to withdraw from this metaphoric side of life we have created for ourselves. But we surely can try to live with a democratic understanding and can utilize as many languages to say what we want to, but make sure to communicate exactly what is meant to be said by using those words and means, just simply say it out (Like in hindi its said- sidhe sidhe keh do). Its just that simple.

P.S. At times a long story is needed to land across a short msg ;) :P